What shall we talk about today, hmmm? {said in my very best therapist voice}
I have had something on my mind lately...something akin to my addiKtion being a symptom of Peter Pan Syndrome. As in "I don't want to grow up".
Which is funny because I was pretty much born grown up. All my life I've just wanted to be mature and grown up. Childhood? Pssh. Who needed it? I was anxious to join the life of adults.
What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks was I thinking?
There have been moments along this addiKted path that I have paused to wonder at the funny picture I must be painting of myself to the world around me. I mean, here I am, a solid 30-something mother of two living in a small suburban community, just about as boring and conservative as one can be, and I'm fangirling over actors and singers half a world away and often a good 10 years younger than myself. It's no wonder that my family and friends give me "the look". I'm sure many of you can relate to "the look" or worse, "the question". They all want to know why. "Why have you, a formerly solid, stand-up and relatively normal person launched yourself so fully into this bizarre world?", they all seem to want to know. They can't understand it. Of course, I believe they can't understand it because they are unwilling to give it a try themselves, but whatever. That's beside the point.
One way that I have tried to explain it to the naysayers and "lookers" out there is that this is all a first for me. Back when I was a teenager and behavior such as this would be expected and deemed appropriate by society, I wasn't like this. I didn't follow trends. I listened to classical music more often than the popular music of the day (and when I "classical" I mean classical as in Mozart and Beethoven classical, not Led Zepplin classic). I could hum along to operas and musicals and concertos more often than 80s hair bands. I didn't sit around reading magazines with my girl friends, squealing over all the cute idols of the day. I didn't go to concerts. My walls were bare of posters. I missed the whole NSync/Backstreet Boys boy band craze. I just wasn't into pop culture, period. So all this fangirling and attention spent to feeding my addiKtion is a brand new experience for me. I am doing the same thing that most average people do, just a little later in life and with a pop culture that is not my own. And apparently that makes all the difference in the eyes of those with "the look".
Is it a desperate attempt to recapture part of my youth that I missed? To fight the aging process? You're only as old as your favorite pop singer or boy band?
Hmm, maybe.
So what.
To them I would only ask "why" in response. Why do we have to be like everyone else? Why can they watch the Bachelorette and be "normal" while we enjoy a good drama that comes from MBC instead of NBC and we get "the look"? WHY?
Can't following our own path be a sign of maturity too?
Saturday, my family and I were heading to spend the day at the lake with some friends on their boat. Awesome, right? It totally was. And we had a blast. But what was the real highlight of my day? What did I wake up so excited about? Not so much the lake (of course it was totally excited about that too - I'm not a total weirdo), but knowing that at 8am my time, Big Bang would be releasing Monster. As we drove, the kids and I watched the time tick slowly by, getting closer and closer. I just had to hear it once before going off-line for the rest of the day. 10 minutes. 7 minutes. 3 minutes. 1 minute!!! Squeeeeeeee!!!! Then, at 8am on the dot, as we were nearing the lake, I was on iTunes desperately searching for the song, heart a-racing! When it wasn't on iTunes at the promised time, I was so distraught! Otake?!?! I have a very small window of time to work with here people - where's my song?!?! Thankfully I found the video on YG Family's Facebook page and the day was saved. Hurrah! The Husband was gracious enough to let us plug in and listen to it in the car (thank you Husband - you are my hero and so good and kind). The kids and I were in heaven! And then I was able to enjoy my day at the lake with my family and friends (singing Monster in my head all day despite the constant repetitive play list we were listening to for 12 hrs).
See, very mature of me. {Pats self on back for being a proper grown up}
So, to all the lookers and questioners out there, I'd say, why not? Yes, I am a conservative, straight-laced, uptight PTA mom that so happens to enjoy shaking her groove thing to cute Korean boy bands. I know that Yoochun's birthday is today, June 4th (happy birthday Micky!). I plan my day so that I can still enjoy a little Big Bang now and again. Filling out a "get to know you" form yesterday at church, when asked my favorite TV show, I had to answer honestly and say that it was a toss up between Secret Garden and City Hunter, both Korean dramas. Yeah, more looks are definitely going to be coming my way when that one shows up in the newsletter. Oh well. This is who I am, take it or leave it. I'm too old to care anymore. Even deeply ensconced in this Peter Pan Syndrome or whatever it is (early mid-life crisis?) I can recognize that I'm just too old to care about the looks. So look away all you looky-loos! This is fun and hurts no one. I am still devoted to my family and those friends that can see beyond my unconventional entertainment choices. My kids are happy and healthy, my marriage strong. I'm not running off to Korea with Jaejoong any time soon (he didn't call - someone must have told him that I really was a frumpy housewife after all - thanks a lot guys).
Now, I've been talking a lot. Rambling on and on and on like I like to do when I wax theraputic. I recognize that some of you need a refill on your KPop prescription as well as a good chat with your therapist, so, being the great fake doctor that I am, I have that scrip ready for you. I would have prescribed a double or triple (or more if you need) dose of Big Bang's Monster, but since we already posted that on Saturday, I'll let you go there in order to pick up that med if you still haven't yet. Today though I'm also going to supplement with something I've wanted to bring out for you for a few weeks now, a little Busker Busker Cherry Blossom Ending. Some of you may already be familiar with this song and video. I was introduced to it by Simon and Martina on Eat Your Kimchi as many of you may also have been. But in case you missed it, it's a cute song and video. Of course, since I like to share things from my world with you whenever I can, I just have to share a personal story about this one. A couple of weeks ago I received a message from a friend. Here, instead of trying to paraphrase it, I'll just share the actual message...
Oh, and ps, I've been thinking of you and your Korean pop culture - a girl I grew up skating with recently married her long time boyfriend who is the drummer in a Korean Indie band called Busker Busker. So random! Anyway, there is always stuff on my newsfeed regarding "Busker Busker" so it always reminds me of you!Heehee! I was giddy when I read this! And I've been wanting to talk about it ever since, just hadn't gotten around to it until today. I love when my real world connects in some way to my Korean world. It's so fun! So, if you haven't yet seen or heard this one, here's Busker Busker's Cherry Blossom Ending. I would also recommend Eat Your Kimchi's mention of it which you can find here.
Well, our hour is up my addiKted friends and this therapist has other patients to see (like my children whom I haven't seen all day). Happy Monday or whatever day it is for you! And as always, thank you for your continued support - it means the world to us to have you here! :)
I did get the chance as a kid to release my inner teenage girl...to a certain degree.
ReplyDeleteI didn't collect magazines (ok the photos from magazines) because they were not allowed & any pictures that went up on my walls had to be properly framed & their spot chosen by my strict no nonsense Navy dad, who still has control issues. But I bought the music & spent a lot of my time oohing & aahhhing over them at my friend's homes, the ones who were allowed to plaster their walls. But my first rock concert was Depeche Mode, when I was 19, with CA, just prior to marriage. Since then I've only been to maybe 2 other concerts.
So I am enjoying being able to purchase tons of music & watch MV's & K-Dramas like crazy now. And I too have decided I don't care what every one else thinks of me. I am embracing my inner Fangirl proudly & happily!
Bring on the HoTTies!! SQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S.
I'd paper my room w/ the photos of the hotties from the magazines but I think CA might put his foot down. But I do save the pictures to it's very own folder on my laptop entitled, "My AddiKtions" giggle.