Scenario - Our two main characters are on the rooftop of a building, playing Russian Roulette. Roll the dice to see if our villain dies.
Outcome - No, our beautiful psycho does not die, in fact he is alive and well while our "hero" is lying on the ground SHOT IN THE HEAD by his crazy tiger ex boss. Go straight to hospital and learn that you will now be playing the game while a bullet is left inside your brain. But don't worry you have rolled an 8 and will avoid brain damage and be reinstated at work, despite the Russian Roulette and chopping off your boss's finger. Because isn't it fair......chopped finger is the equivalent to a bullet in the brain, now you can have a nice and calm working situation free of mental anguish. Or if there is mental anguish you might not remember, since there IS a bullet in your brain.
Scenario - You are attempting to navigate the Sea of Korean Police Bureaucrats.
Outcome - You have rolled a 2 which means that you are in serious danger. The higher ups have decided that they would rather have a serial killer on the loose instead of some bad press (or you know, any investigation that involves anyone (rich people) that are higher up the social ladder than the hobo on the streets . And if that Hobo rolls the writer number and is able to afford a lawyer, then you can't even arrest him. Prepare to be told to take responsibility for the actions of the resident psychos ASAP. Will most likely be fired and thrown out of the building.
Scenario - You are a previous victim and have a serious case of survivors guilt. Also you are supposedly a top criminal profiler and trying to take down the killer Gap Dong, in order to alleviate your guilty conscience. Will you succeed?
Outcome - You rolled a -5 (I know there is really no number like that in a role playing game, but there is nothing positive about Maria Oh's character Development) proceed to achieve doe eyed bimbo status. You will spend your remaining time in the game doing inappropriate activities with your patients and invite known serial killers into your apartment for a bit of tea. You will also take up crafts in the attempt to sculpt the face of the killer that you saw 20 years ago. But just in case you forget, you have the police sketch in front of your face for reference, you know, for accuracies sake. You will also officially be known as the dumbest female character that has ever graced Kmuse's TV screen. Because, yes you really are that stupid.
Scenario - You have been warned that you are the possible next target of the Gap Dong copycat killer. You have police protection to guarantee your safety from so said killer. All you have to do is STAY IN YOUR FREAKING HOUSE YOU STUPID GIRL!, and you will live to see another day.
Outcome - You rolled the dice but it fell under the table and you were too stupid to pick it up. Instead you were busy texting on your phone with the boy you KNOW is the suspect in the serial killer case. He tells you that your crush is with another woman and you LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!!!!!! You convince the simpleminded policeman that you are somewhat intelligent and just want to see your crush and confirm his fidelity with your own eyes. When you see your crush with another woman you run off ditching your police escort until you walk directly into the killers clutches. Prepare to die you imbecilic twit of a girl.
There you have it, the game of crazy played by the writers of Gap Dong. Admit it, you are starting to wonder if my theory has some merit aren't you? What surprising twists and turns await us in the next 13 episodes of this hilariously horrible drama? (YES THAT IS RIGHT, THERE ARE STILL 13 EPISODES TO GO!). Tune into my blog tomorrow to find out.
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