The Crazy Ahjummas: Unnie's WWU {Through the Looking Glass}

Today, I was feeling bad about myself because, while I was so sick I wasn't able to get up & exercise everyday, as I was used to doing. This week I started back to my work out routine & I swear I took it easy just walking, no running on the treadmill & some light Pilates. Alas, today my body woke up & decided it had, had enough of this working out business. So I sit here & type laying down alternating heat & ice on my back, armed w ibuprofen. Which is frustrating. And did nothing to help me feel good about myself. So I decided it was time to take a real look in the mirror at myself & this post is mostly for my benefit...although I KNOW I am not the only out there it can apply too. So pay attention AddiKts as we both take a glance through the looking glass at the world of Korean beauty.

You may have noticed a recurring theme on TCA. How much we admire & love the "Oppas". Even though most of them aren't actually supposed to be called "Oppa" by us, but we'll put a pin in that topic for another day.

Today I want to about the females in our beloved K world. The women who in my opinion are some of the most beautiful women in the world.

IDK about you guys but I have a love/hate relationship with the women I see in my K Dramas & KPop. I love their skills, their talents, their sauciness & yes even, although not often, their Aegyo.

"If you love all that about them then how can you hate them too Unnie?" O.O

Easy, all those things I love about them, pale in comparison to their amazing beauty. Which, of course, as a woman I both admire & hate...out of pure undisguised jealousy. Jealousy. All my "hate" is really envy disguised as hate. Although I am not a big fan of the "hate", so let's say "emphatically dislike" instead, okay?

The perfect porcelain skin, the incredibly slender figures, the incredible head of hair, the coloring, the fact that they seem to age so much slower than I do. All of these things that I admire so ardently, I also emphatically dislike about them. Which means everyday I look into MY mirror & wage a battle of war with myself. I argue from the 2 sides of my psyche.

Good Me: I am a beautiful mother of 4 in her mid 30s.
Bad Me: But I'll never be as beautiful as Ha Ji Won. {{Pssst she is my favorite of all time!!}} She makes me feel like Cinderella's Ugly Step Sister.

GM: You have great big beautiful brown eyes.
BM: Ugh why can't I lose this baby weight? I want to be thin & willowy, instead of short & chubby!

GM: Your smile is your best feature.
BM: Now if only you could hide the dark circles & huge bags under your eyes!

GM: Your husband of nearly 18 years thinks you are sexy.
BM: Yeah but he saw me when I was young & perky & he remembers I wasn't always like this, plus he loves me truly so he doesn't see or he ignores the many many many flaws. Like in High School when your mom tells you she thinks your beautiful. It's nice but it's not the same as when the boy you like says the same thing. My husband can't ever leave me or die because no man in his right mind is going to look at me twice when there are women like Shin Min Ah or Kim Tae Hee around. And forget Kim Hyun Joong...you'd be lucky to attract the attention of that troll from Harry Potter! You know the one that got Harry's wand stuck up his nose in the 1st movie? Andeventhenhe'dprobablybemoreinterestedinkillingyou&puttingyourchubbyselfonaspit&roastingyouoverafire!

O.O um... Sorry.... I got a wee bit carried away there....where was I?

Oh yes. Does any of this sound even vaguely familiar? I've talked to quite a few other women over the last few months, since we started TCA; I was surprised, & yet not surprised, by how many of us there are that feel completely unworthy because of the beautiful women in our K Dramas/KPop.

Forget that I am comparing myself to women younger than myself! Forget that they are wealthy & pampered & that MOST of them do not have children that A) ruined their figures & B) do not require them day & night, all year round. Forget that they have stylists, make up artists, hair gurus, personal assistants, nutritionists, personal trainers, chefs, maids, etc...catering to their every need & to help them stay fit. And forget the massive amount of money they drop every year on products to help them look younger & even worse the ones who feel plastic surgery is needed to be beautiful. And most importantly forget that every single picture of them released to the public has been retouched, airbrushed & changed to make them look younger, skinnier, fitter, sleeker & sexier. Almost to the point that it isn't actually how they look in real life either.

I think rather than emphatically disliking them, from now on, I will celebrate them! I will remember that for these women how they look, especially how good they look, is their job! They have to look good if they want to work. Which is ironic since, as discussed in last week's WWU, most of the working actresses are then put in the ugliest of clothes & hairstyles to define them as the lead actress / good girl we all want to root for in our dramas. At least according to the "powers that be" that's what makes us like them. Makes no sense to me either. They MUST look good, so that they can then be hired & then made unattractive for their roles. o.O ???? Anyway, being a woman, no matter what country or industry in which you work, is twice as hard as that of being a man. In particular the entertainment industry. Especially since women, in general, do not seem to age nearly as well as most men do, or maybe it's just not as gracefully as men do. They work hard at being beautiful & I think it's time we all applaud their hard work. In a country & industry where beauty is very narrowly defined & where people judge you really harshly & w a magnifying glass, I want these women to know we appreciate their sacrifice. I love the fact that my favorite ...ahem..."oppas" get the pretty girl. The cute girl. The beautiful girl. The sexy girl. Since my "Oppas" are themselves sexy I want them to end up w the girl who puts the most effort into looking good for him.

And to that end I will continue to fight my own battle w my chubby self. I will continue to exercise, even though I emphatically dislike exercising as does my body, kekekeke... I can wear sexy super high heels to fix my height. I can moisturize & drink lots of water & eat healthy fruits & veggies to keep my skin & body healthy. I can learn to wear & apply make up & do my hair so that the best of me shines forth. And I can take care of my clothes & pay close attention, although still shop for a deal, to my wardrobe. I can, in short, take pride in my own efforts to please my real life Oppa. So that he knows I don't take him or his obvious "BLIND AS A BAT" love for me, for granted. (Sorry bad me peeked out there a bit didn't she?) ^^ but most importantly I can remember my real worth is not skin deep. And that I am more than anyone knows & I should remember that I matter.

My message through all of this is to love yourself for you. Everyday try to find a good character trait & a good physical trait about yourself & be proud of it while also trying to stem your self doubt & that annoying voice in your head, whispering unkind things about you into your inner ear. We're all beautiful. It's okay to watch K Dramas. It's okay to have crushes. It's okay to admire the grace & beauty of the women in our K world. However, one should never let their beauty or the fact that your bias is loving on them, in the K Drama you are watching, make you doubt your own incredible self worth. If you allow the skewed vision of the K Drama world to then skew your own vision, then I think maybe you should step back from the screen, for a while. Go out a little more & see the real world. Remembering that if you don't like something about yourself... YOU are the only one who can make the difference, whining & feeling sorry will not change anything. And for those of you who are not married or even dating anyone at the current time. Be patient. Your other half, your soul mate, your best friend is out there somewhere. They are waiting for you, just as you now wait for them. Do not rush. Love will find you, when you least expect it & when you stop waiting for love & instead enjoy life. In the mean time, be nice to yourself. Remember you matter.

And to help celebrate the women who work so hard to make themselves beautiful, hopefully inside as well as outside, I dedicate this post to you & your perseverance. My favorite K Drama & KPop female stars, in no particular order.

To these amazing women...I say, "Aja!! Aja!! Fighting!" Your jobs are not easy! You have the world's scrutiny on you day in & day out. I am the only one criticizing me. Well, me & my mother in law. She is not my fan. LOL I can't imagine why...I'm totally awesome! After all, I have excellent taste in entertainment & music. kekekeke...

I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week & that when you look in the mirror you see nothing but "Fabulous!" Sending all my love & well wishes out to the Blogosphere.

Saranghabnida,